Week 9 My blueprint has a death grip

OK, so I have not posted in a couple of weeks.  I hate to admit that I have created the chaos I have been experiencing in my life of late.  If I told you that my son came home from being in Brazil on a mission for our church for 2 years, my sister had knee replacement surgery and moved in with me along with her son, and my other sister who just returned from an 18 month mission returned and moved in with me all of which happened in the last 3-4 weeks, would you believe my blueprint created it?  Keeping up with all my MKMMA requirements has been impossible for me.  I have done some of the activities like the reading and reading blogs, etc.  But not everything.  So, it leads me to conclude my old blueprint is at work here.  Has to be.  I am becoming aware of my old blueprint in many areas of my life.  Actually, I have a great life.  But the areas where I need to improve I can see where my old blueprint has been at work.

So, I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy.  You bet.  Absolutely.

Since the beginning of this course I have felt overwhelmed (old blueprint?) and have done my best to keep up.  It seems I am always behind.  I feel behind because I think I need to change my DMP and some of my goals.  I have not kept my promise on several of the items I set down for myself and I think it is because I just plain set the wrong ones.  So I am re-evaluating my goals and even part of my DMP.

Reset.  If I cannot get myself on track, reset my goals, and do this course properly, I’m thinking I need to take it over next year.  Something nags at me and tells me it is critical that I stay with this even though I am limping along.  My personality is black and white, all or nothing, so limping along doesn’t seem like an option.

I’m going to prepare for Sunday and watch the webinar and then make a decision.  I know after the webinar I’ll want to stay in the course but then I have the week to struggle then I’ll be right back where I am right now.  Unless I can catch up.  So, here I am recommitting to get back on track.



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